When a woman is born in a Indian family the first thought comes to her parents mind is that, we will have to take care of her till 20s as she will be marrying and going to her in-laws house someday. With this start the journey of searching ideal partner for her. As she crosses 18 year, her family start worrying 'Oh our daughter has become old enough, to find her a man'. In early 20s her relatives start pushing her families to find a man quickly. As she start reaching 30s the tension for marriage worried more to the girl parents 'Oh our daughter is turning old to find her a man soon'. The arrange of perfect man lead her parents to showcase their daughter in front of each and every perspective grooms family. Some groom family would say 'Our son is too qualified and look and earn handsome' what your daughter will contribute to his life. Another set of groom family would say 'We are looking for higher caste, fair and good looking women for our only loving, good looking son'. To glorify the girl family there are a group of quick bride hunters who want the marriage to be fixed the very same day, as though the world is coming to an end the next moment. The man who too believe his family will arrange ideal bride for him despite of holding a hypocritic flag of open mind and liberal thoughts. They say 'Beggars have no choice' as the women start crossing 30s, the entire world start poking the girl to get hold of any man, to get herself tagged before the society start talking of her singlehood 'Ohh some problem must be there in her, that is why many groom came to see her turning off with the marriage proposal'.
This is the story of all most all Indian women who are working hard to have valuable contribution to the society, who want to live a dignified, self dependent and harmonious life. I truly wonder where our society leading to, in one side our great PM passes a slogan 'Beti 'Bachao, Beti Padhao''safe the girl, educate the girl', on the other side such hypocrite and typical patriarchal society who want a woman to serve their son for life. It also amaze me how we Indian have distinguished 'Love marriage' and 'Arrange marriage'. The couple who know each other before marriage are define to be love marriage and the couple who are not known to each other before marriage are define to be arrange marriage. At the end both the women has to live same life after marriage. Wonder what difference the so called love marriage does to a couple life.
To me love and marriage should not be given any such dead line, let the society talk hell out of her. The women should not get trapped into it to sacrifice all her dreams and goals to serve the so called godly like husband. Marriage is when two mature and adult person vision for harmonious and peaceful life together, nurture and help each other dreams come true and hold each other hands to reach their goals together like two friends climbing staircase together if one falls the other help vice versa.
There is nothing like sacrifice in Hindu marriages,its all mutual understanding and trust to live together-(with husband or family) whether loved/arranged /registered marriage.
ReplyDeleteThanks sir for sharing your view on marriage. Perhaps this blog narrated the shame a woman has to go through when she is been projected as an object in front of a man family for arrange marriage. The pain she and her family had go through on rejection for uncalled reasons.
ReplyDeletei agree however woman themselves either knowingly or unknowingly contribute towards continuing of the societal systems
ReplyDeleteThanks Ankur for sharing your views, wonder why men at all agree to follow such tradition to go with the family to see the woman for choosing the bride for marriage at first place and then contribute themselves in such process. However, women will stop contributing when men will give a full stop to this so called tradition of arrange marriage. If at all the man want to marry a woman he or she should be confident enough that his family will accept him or her.
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